This is how I’m feeling today… and not in a bad way
I have been reading Thought Catalog for years, but recently it has felt a little… stale I guess. That is, until tonight. I found a couple that really spoke to me, but none so much as the one here.
There is so much truth in it; I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.
It’s called “I Believe In You,” by Gabby Dunn:
I believe in you.
Maybe you think no one does. Maybe you’ve been a disappointment so long you don’t even remember what it was like to look up and see a light ahead, indicating a future full of love, happiness and goals. It’s a never-ending spiral — you made a mistake, people stopped believing in you, and then you resigned yourself to being a perpetual mess and stopped trying. You think no one believes in you or that you don’t need someone to step up to the plate for you because you reject them before they can reject you. You don’t need them, you think, but it’s a reaction to feeling unneeded by others. You brush it off, laugh at the platitudes, steel yourself against anyone trying to breach the gates.
Everybody needs someone else to believe in them. You think you don’t because you’ve been hurt before, because you left yourself open to wounding when you asked someone to believe in you. So you stopped and built a wall. You decided you needed no one. But it still hurts, doesn’t it?
You’re not happy. There are things you want that you don’t pursue. You’d rather come up with excuses, or sabotage, or not try at all than try and fail, than to prove right what you think everyone believes about you and so what you believe about yourself. God forbid, you go out on another limb to move forward in life and it backfires. You don’t think you’d be able to take it. It would only solidify what you think you already know about yourself: that you are worthless and nothing, that you’ll never be the person you want to be.
You’re wrong. You’re so, so wrong. Whatever it is you want, you should go for it. You can do it. You’ll face pitfalls and rejection, but I have no doubt you can accomplish whatever it is. Maybe you’ll take some detours, but that’s just life. That’s what everyone has to do. Nothing is ever set in stone, as they say. Don’t make excuses based on age or income or gender. Don’t place limits on yourself and then wallow in self-pity for things that are out of your control. Focus on what you do have power over. Use that to reach your goals.
And if not me, some stranger on the Internet, how about you let someone in? Let that person who wants to love and believe in you break down your barriers. The comedian Mike Birbiglia describes “love” as when someone else recognizes that special part of you that, no matter how low your self-esteem, still desperately hopes is there. When someone else see that in you, you feel invincible. But you can also be let down. Don’t be afraid of letting someone believe in you. They must see something you don’t quite yet see.
Or believe in yourself. If you don’t think other people have faith in you, don’t let it convince you that you are nothing. Have immense faith in yourself. Don’t invent patterns where there aren’t any. Don’t lose hope that things can change at any moment. Don’t resign yourself because others haven’t believed in you or because you just haven’t found what is it you’re looking for. Especially if you’re young. It’s wasteful to start thinking like life is over before it’s even really begun.
So there’s some food for thought. And even if you don’t need it, I’ll tell you: Someone believes in you. I believe in you.
Does anybody besides me find that there is a lot of pressure associated with New Year’s Eve? I always tend to struggle with it.
Last night was no exception.
I’m not going to spend a whole lot of time explaining why last night was tough for me (believe me, it would be much longer than you want to read right now), but I will say that it actually ended up okay. No champagne, no crazy NYE kiss with a handsome man I just met (or even one that I’ve known forever). Nope, just good friends, card games, and great conversation.
Maybe that makes me lame – but I’m okay with that.
I’m ready for 2013 and the promise of new beginnings. Of course, I’m not saying that I expect everything to be wonderful just because a new year is suddenly upon us. No, what I’m saying is that I have turned a new page in my own book – I am the one who is going to make this year as great as it possibly can be.
The road isn’t going to be an easy one, and yeah, I’m going to stumble, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t succeed at everything I set my mind to. Like that Japanese proverb says,
Fall seven times, get up eight.
Well, I’ve gotten up every time I’ve fallen down in the past and I’m planning on continuing that in 2013. I’ve got great friends, a wonderful family, and countless opportunities to succeed at work – I’ve just got to keep my head up!
I’m looking forward to it. (In a few days when I’m upset over something or feeling down about not having an apartment or something else is frustrating, remind me that positivity can get me a long way.)
Love, and happy 2013!!!
Today, as I was driving through town with my littlest sister, it hit me that it was finally fall! I know that it has technically been fall since September, but I don’t believe fall officially starts until the leaves begin to change. Until you see people wandering around town in their boots and fall colors – burnt sienna, dark green, browns and reds. Until it has rained for the first time and you don’t feel guilty curling up on your couch at 4 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon to watch Happy Thanksgiving Charlie Brown (or any other show that’s on TV at that time in the afternoon… like Property Brothers, That 70′s Show, or Keeping Up with the Kardashians…) Until the apple guy is back at the farmers market and you can buy his cider to heat up with cinnamon and cloves.
On that drive through town earlier today, we passed by a dad and his kids playing on the lawn in front of the public library. They were playing in the leaves, making piles and jumping in them. The dad was documenting it on his iPhone in between throwing leaves and running around with his kids. It was so sweet. =
Isn’t that what this season is all about?
On election day, President Barack Obama’s message to supporters:
I’m about to go speak to the crowd here in Chicago, but I wanted to thank you first.
I want you to know that this wasn’t fate, and it wasn’t an accident. You made this happen.
You organized yourselves block by block. You took ownership of this campaign five and ten dollars at a time. And when it wasn’t easy, you pressed forward.
I will spend the rest of my presidency honoring your support, and doing what I can to finish what we started.
But I want you to take real pride, as I do, in how we got the chance in the first place.
Today is the clearest proof yet that, against the odds, ordinary Americans can overcome powerful interests.
There’s a lot more work to do.
But for right now: Thank you.
“Four years ago voters wanted to make history, today voters wanted to make a difference.”
And I’m so glad we succeeded. Congratulations to President Barack Obama, the rest of the Obama family and Democrats everywhere; looking forward to seeing what we can accomplish in the next four years.
Fate’s what befalls a man who fails to act. Destiny is for men who refuse to accept their failures as their fate. We’ve all had failures. Don’t let ‘em define you. Let ‘em refine you.
-Lamar Wayatt, ABC’s Nashville
The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.
-John D. Rockefeller