Rachel Discovers Happiness

my life and road to happiness

Archive for the month “January, 2013”

where I am right now

where I am right now

I saw this picture on a friend’s Facebook today – it just spoke to me. It’s originally from the website “Not Salmon” (click on photo to visit site.)

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I Believe in You

I have been reading Thought Catalog for years, but recently it has felt a little… stale I guess. That is, until tonight. I found a couple that really spoke to me, but none so much as the one here.

There is so much truth in it; I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

It’s called “I Believe In You,” by Gabby Dunn:

Hey.

I believe in you.

Maybe you think no one does. Maybe you’ve been a disappointment so long you don’t even remember what it was like to look up and see a light ahead, indicating a future full of love, happiness and goals. It’s a never-ending spiral — you made a mistake, people stopped believing in you, and then you resigned yourself to being a perpetual mess and stopped trying. You think no one believes in you or that you don’t need someone to step up to the plate for you because you reject them before they can reject you. You don’t need them, you think, but it’s a reaction to feeling unneeded by others. You brush it off, laugh at the platitudes, steel yourself against anyone trying to breach the gates.

Everybody needs someone else to believe in them. You think you don’t because you’ve been hurt before, because you left yourself open to wounding when you asked someone to believe in you. So you stopped and built a wall. You decided you needed no one. But it still hurts, doesn’t it?

You’re not happy. There are things you want that you don’t pursue. You’d rather come up with excuses, or sabotage, or not try at all than try and fail, than to prove right what you think everyone believes about you and so what you believe about yourself. God forbid, you go out on another limb to move forward in life and it backfires. You don’t think you’d be able to take it. It would only solidify what you think you already know about yourself: that you are worthless and nothing, that you’ll never be the person you want to be.

You’re wrong. You’re so, so wrong. Whatever it is you want, you should go for it. You can do it. You’ll face pitfalls and rejection, but I have no doubt you can accomplish whatever it is. Maybe you’ll take some detours, but that’s just life. That’s what everyone has to do. Nothing is ever set in stone, as they say. Don’t make excuses based on age or income or gender. Don’t place limits on yourself and then wallow in self-pity for things that are out of your control. Focus on what you do have power over. Use that to reach your goals.

And if not me, some stranger on the Internet, how about you let someone in? Let that person who wants to love and believe in you break down your barriers. The comedian Mike Birbiglia describes “love” as when someone else recognizes that special part of you that, no matter how low your self-esteem, still desperately hopes is there. When someone else see that in you, you feel invincible. But you can also be let down. Don’t be afraid of letting someone believe in you. They must see something you don’t quite yet see.

Or believe in yourself. If you don’t think other people have faith in you, don’t let it convince you that you are nothing. Have immense faith in yourself. Don’t invent patterns where there aren’t any. Don’t lose hope that things can change at any moment. Don’t resign yourself because others haven’t believed in you or because you just haven’t found what is it you’re looking for. Especially if you’re young. It’s wasteful to start thinking like life is over before it’s even really begun.

So there’s some food for thought. And even if you don’t need it, I’ll tell you: Someone believes in you. I believe in you.

New Day, New Year, New Possibilities – Happy 2013

Does anybody besides me find that there is a lot of pressure associated with New Year’s Eve? I always tend to struggle with it. 

Last night was no exception. 

I’m not going to spend a whole lot of time explaining why last night was tough for me (believe me, it would be much longer than you want to read right now), but I will say that it actually ended up okay. No champagne, no crazy NYE kiss with a handsome man I just met (or even one that I’ve known forever). Nope, just good friends, card games, and great conversation. 

Maybe that makes me lame – but I’m okay with that. 

I’m ready for 2013 and the promise of new beginnings. Of course, I’m not saying that I expect everything to be wonderful just because a new year is suddenly upon us. No, what I’m saying is that I have turned a new page in my own book – I am the one who is going to make this year as great as it possibly can be.

The road isn’t going to be an easy one, and yeah, I’m going to stumble, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t succeed at everything I set my mind to. Like that Japanese proverb says,

Fall seven times, get up eight.

Well, I’ve gotten up every time I’ve fallen down in the past and I’m planning on continuing that in 2013. I’ve got great friends, a wonderful family, and countless opportunities to succeed at work – I’ve just got to keep my head up!

I’m looking forward to it. (In a few days when I’m upset over something or feeling down about not having an apartment or something else is frustrating, remind me that positivity can get me a long way.)

Love, and happy 2013!!!

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